Look ! – The Chicken Crossing the Road – but Why?

inkwellEveryone you ask, seems to have  a theory.  This post focuses on perspectives from politicians and public personalities who by all accounts are never short on self-professed  and authoritative knowledge about selective subjects. Incite on chicken’s motives is but one such opinion.

Listen to video while you experience the various perspectives of just Why the Chicken Crossed the Road!

Some articulations are priceless!

harperSTEPHEN HARPER: (Former Prime Minister Canada)

Let me be perfectly clear. I did not know about the chicken, I did not know about the road. If I would have been made aware of them I would certainly have taken appropriate action and prevented the chicken from crossing the road. The culprits responsible for the chicken crossing the road are being investigated by the RCMP.

 

mulcairn2THOMAS MULCAIR: (Leader of Opposition Canada)

If the Prime Minister didn’t know about the chicken and he didn’t know about the road, how did he know that the chicken had any intention of crossing the road?

 

trudeauJUSTIN TRUDEAU:(Prime Minister Canada)

The chicken crossed the road because the other side had legalized marijuana.

 

fordROB FORD (Former Mayor of Toronto, Canada)

That video of me snorting that chicken does not exist and I’ve only crossed that road in a drunken stupor.

palin2SARAH PALIN: (Former Governor Alaska)

The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he’s a maverick!

 

 

obama85BARACK OBAMA: (US President)

Let me be clear, the chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change! Real change! Change he could believe in!

hillary2HILLARY CLINTON: (US President wanna be)

When I was Secretary of State, I traveled that road thousands of times and I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road each time. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure, right from Day One, that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me.

 

gwbushGEORGE W. BUSH: (Forme US President)

We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

cheney85DICK CHENEY: (Sharp Shooter exta_ordinair)

Where’s my gun?

 

 

colin powell85COLIN POWELL:  (Cheney’s shooting instructor)

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

 

billclintonBILL CLINTON: (former US president)

I did not cross the road with that chicken.

 

 

Al_Gore85AL GORE: Former US vice president

I invented the chicken.

 

 

sharptonAL SHARPTON: (American civil rights activist)

Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

 

 

Dr. PhilDR. PHIL: (TV personality)

The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

 

obama2OPRAH: (Oprah)

Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

 jonstewartJON STEWART: (political satirist)

The real question is …which side did she land on, the left or the right; and did she mean it, or was she just having fun – screwing with the political pundits heads.

 

cooperANDERSON COOPER, CNN: (journalist)

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

 

Martha StewartMARTHA STEWART: (entrepreneur mogul)

No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

 

drseusDR SEUSS: (writer, illustrator)

Did the chicken cross the road? Did she cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

 

Hemingway85ERNEST HEMINGWAY: (Novelist)

To die in the rain; alone.

 

FalwellJERRY FALWELL:(Baptist Pastor)

Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain truth? That’s why they call it the ‘other side.’ Yes, my friends, That chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the Liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like ‘the other side.’ That chicken should not be crossing the road. It’s as plain and as simple as that.

 

Steve86x75GRANDPA: (observer of reality)

In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

 

walters2BARBARA WALTERS: (journalist)

Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of moulting, and went on to accomplish it’s lifelong dream of crossing the road.

 

Aristotle85ARISTOTLE: (Greek philosopher and scientist)

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

 

lennon2JOHN LENNON: (a Beatle)

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

 

gatesBILL GATES: (co-founder Microsoft)

Microsoft has just released eChicken2015, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2015. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

trump-3DONALD TRUMP: (The Donald)

…cause she’s a real hero! It’s plain as the nose on your face. She didn’t get caught, shot down or get run over! She crossed the road and not the border. Boy there are some stupid people in this world… and I’m so rich! Stay tuned, me and the chicken are going to have a talk!

 

einsteinALBERT EINSTEIN: (theoretical physicist.)

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

 

colsanders85COLONEL SANDERS: (founder of KFC)

Did I miss one?

 

And there you have it!